


Where the Hell are We

by bar2d2s



Category: The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Crossdressing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 05:13:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3924184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bar2d2s/pseuds/bar2d2s
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Last thing Axel remembered was Joey calling for a road trip and Owen piling them all into a car that was not theirs, and then he woke up in a Motel 6 on the outskirts of Gotham City with a raging hangover and two overly-warm bodies both trying to spoon him at once.</p><p>And then Red Hood kicked in the door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where the Hell are We

He had no idea how they’d gotten to Gotham.

Last thing Axel remembered was Joey calling for a road trip and Owen piling them all into a car that was  _not_  theirs, and then he woke up in a Motel 6 on the outskirts of Gotham City with a raging hangover and two overly-warm bodies both trying to spoon him at once.

And then Red Hood kicked in the door.

“Since you’re not officially my problem, you Rogues have five minutes to get out of…wow what the fuck did I just walk in on.” Axel sat up, wiping his mouth with his arm. It came back bright red.

Oh, that’s right, he’d started off the night as Trixie.

The man in the leather jacket and motorcycle helmet shrugged, holstering his guns.

“Look, I’m taking your car. Don’t steal another. You idiots have enough cash to take the Greyhound back to Keystone?” Owen just lay there, clutching his head with both hands. “…oh my god, did the three of you take a drunken road trip? I guess that explains why shorty there is in drag. And the single bed. Kind of.”

By this point, Axel was finally able to get his bearings and crawl out of the pile of burly, muscular men that his morning seemed to be made of. And fell directly off the foot of the bed, because his glasses were in the pocket of Joey’s jacket, and he couldn’t  _see_. He felt someone hauling him up by the arm, and he whimpered.

“Hey, chill, I got you. I’m not the kind of douche to shoot a guy in the middle of a hangover. You need to puke?” Axel nodded in the direction of the voice, and then he was being shoved…somewhere. “On your knees.” Down he went again, and his chin hit something cold. “Have at it. I’m gonna go see what the fuck your pals were thinking, driving drunk across three states.”

By the time Axel was done with the bathroom, the smell of instant coffee had flooded the room, and the bed once again had three men on it. He was so confused.

“Hey, catch!”

His hands instinctively went up to cover his face, and something slapped against his palm. Joey was a horrible toss, but at least now he had his glasses. Slipping them on, the world came back into focus…and promptly dissolved again because that couldn’t be real.

Owen and Joey’s shirts were in a pile in the corner, both more than a little vomit-stained, and the two of them were sitting on the bed with Red Hood, who’d removed his namesake, sharing a pot of coffee. Owen was laughing over something, but then he noticed Axel.

“And  _this_  guy, no, you had to have been there. This little fuckin’  _pool hustler_  won us that car out front. The dudes he beat only got pissed once they realized that they’d been beat by a guy who was a  _really_ convincing girl.” Red Hood snickered into his own cup, eyeing Axel thoughtfully.

“That something you do a lot? Dress him up and have him cheat people out of shit?" 

Axel turned away from them, leaning over the sink to wash the makeup and stomach juices off his face. He had no idea where his wig went, though he did remember starting the road trip with it on. It was probably in the car. A pair of solid arms wrapped around his waist, and Axel flailed for his glasses as he was pulled back against a wide, slightly soft chest.

"Nah, he just likes to look pretty.” Joey leaned down and nuzzled his face into Axel’s neck. From the bed, he heard someone cough. Red Hood, probably. Axel was getting tired of calling him that, even mentally.

“You got a name? Because my inner monologue is getting sick of referring to you as the Red Hood.” That drew a laugh out of him.

“Call me Jay, shrimp.”

“Call me Axel, asshole.” Another laugh, louder than the first. Joey let go of him, and Axel managed to get his glasses on before the headlock sent them flying again.

“You tangled with the little bird once, right?” Little..? Robin. Oh. Axel nodded. “He beat you with his brain. I’ll beat you with my brain  _and_ my guns. Don’t get cocky.” Someone snorted. “Very mature, big guy.” The world shifted, and then Axel was on the bed again, flat on his stomach. Red Hood, Jay, had thrown him clear across the room with no effort at all.

That was…kind of hot.

He sat up rubbing his chin where it had banged into the mattress. Now that Axel was looking at him sans-helmet, he could see that Jay was actually quite good looking. Dark hair, with a little white patch, a strong jaw. Wide shoulders, muscular arms, and  _oh_  he had thighs like Owen’s. Then Jay was in his face again, hand on his shoulder, holding him still.

“What the f-”

“Shut up.” His breathing was a bit labored, and the white-out lenses revealed nothing, but Axel knew he’d seen  _something_  to get him like this. “He went all-out, huh?” The question wasn’t directed at him, but at Owen. Axel glanced to his right, and saw the other man grin.

“He’s a sucker for authenticity. Check it.” He pulled Axel’s dress up past his thighs, revealing the black and red cotton panties with the little nautical star on the hip. Jay sucked in a breath, then pushed himself away.

“Get outta town by sunset, or I’m coming back.” Jay warned as he slid the helmet back on, not bothering to shut the door behind him as he left. Joey got up and did it for him.

Once the door was closed, they all burst into hysterical, relieved laughter.

“Jesus fuck!” Joey gasped, pounding a fist into his own leg. “I thought we were dead when he kicked in here! That was the Red fuckin’ Hood! That guy offed like, six of my cousins!”

“Doesn’t, uh, omerta say that you gotta avenge them?” Joey shrugged, flopping down on the bed to lay his head in Axel’s exposed, cotton-covered lap.

“Nah, man. Jack ended up with their Gotham territory, so it kinda worked itself out. Anyway, sunset is what, seven hours away?” It was well past noon, so that was being generous. “What d'you wanna do until then?”

Axel grinned.

They ended up nursing their hangovers with delivery pizza and a Criminal Minds marathon.


End file.
